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In(tro)spector….

I’ve always thought it would be cool to be an Inspector of something…

I used to work in sales and part of my job was to go into retail stores and “inspect” what they were doing. Not really having worked in retail in any meaningful way, I felt like an imposter. Shopkeepers would look to me for my expertise, and inside my mind I’d be cringing, trying to think of something to say that would sound like I knew what I was talking about. Thus, I learned how to be a salesperson. It’s not about what you actually know, but rather about what they THINK you know…

My life today hasn’t changed much. I’m still working in capacities about which I know little, but perhaps just a bit more than those I work on behalf of. Good lord, I’m even teaching drawing now! I’ve had, like, one drawing lesson in my whole life. Who am I to teach somebody else??? What I’m learning through this is helping me understand these issues of feeling like an “im-poster child” — learning to draw, like anything else, is about trying to capture the essence of an idea, not liking the result, looking back again and seeing the problem, making a change, and back and forth and back and forth like that. Eventually, an image emerges that looks like you know what you’re doing…

 

I suppose that becoming an expert at something is not necessarily about having been taught by another expert. It’s about paying attention and learning from our mistakes as well as our successes, continuing to try no matter the outcome. 

So I guess I really AM an inspector. I stand there and look with my own eyes and see what works and what doesn’t. I don’t need to have been working consciously at it my whole life to have gathered up a significant amount of information. Someday soon I’ll go back to school and get a piece of paper that says I’ve paid attention (and tuition) for an acceptable period of time, and someone besides me has borne witness. Frankly, I prefer something less finite….

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Categories: Life
  1. betty
    June 12, 2008 at 1:15 am

    Loved the picture of Jack….you do know that your talent can’t be taught. It is a gift.

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