Home > Life, Spirituality/Religion, You've GOT to be kidding! > 25 Random Things About Me…

25 Random Things About Me…

kidding3There’s a note being circulated on Facebook called “25 Random Things About Me” or something like that, and the point is to share tidbits about yourself that others may find amusing, inspiring, shocking, or just plain informational. 

I finally filled mine out today.

After thinking about it for a while, I was hoping to come up with spirit-lifting rhetoric that would leave others with a sense of peace about the world.

But then I realized that that isn’t really me.

As much as I would like it to be, I tend more toward that little figure dancing on your shoulder, whispering in your ear “don’t worry about the consequences — just try it!” Unlike the angel on your other shoulder, or a too dark pigment painted into a watercolor, I can never quite get back to the pure white I so regret having given up. 

Am I a bad person? No. Have I done bad things? You betcha. Would I do things over again if I had the chance? “It is decidedly so”, says the eight-ball. 

Most of us can say all this about ourselves, can’t we? At least about some things? The people I marvel at are those who, despite having taken not just the other road, as described in Frost’s poem “The Road Less Traveled”, but have bush-wacked their way through life, smashing, crashing, and clearing yet another avenue of possibility. Their rebellious spirit is so enticing, so intoxicating, that we follow recklessly, only to find that we do not possess the same qualities that allow us to continue in this rebellion and without a leader we are simply lost in the dark forest of our own imagination. 

So what do we do? Do we seek out the original path, the one devoid of snares and complications but guaranteed to lead us most directly to our goal? Maybe we’ll get lucky and find the other one, slightly less pristine but still promising. Or do we stand up, brush ourselves off, wait until daylight to check to see which way the sun is moving and continue on our own?

Here’s the list, for better or worse….

  1. I have been dreading filling this out. Most of the others I’ve read have been inspiring, fascinating, funny, and downright cheerful. I was trying to wait until I was in a better mood to do this, but the meds haven’t kicked in yet so you’ll have to take what you can get.
  2. I am the 7th of 8 children of a minister. My dad hated the show “Eight is Enough”. 
  3. I was born in Detroit, MI, and am a distant relative of Aretha Franklin. Very distant. I think our common link is Abraham.
  4. I am a sugar addict from way back. The more refined, the better. In this case, I’d rather have the stigma of having a dentist for a father than a minister. Prayer can fill your spirit but not the holes in your teeth.
  5. I have owned (and driven) a motorcycle but never bothered to get a license within the 30-day period so I got rid of it.
  6. I have been self-employed much of my life. You don’t even want to see my resume. Currently, I pick up dog poop for most of my wages. Strangely, I’d always thought that my years working in sales involved the most shoveling of s*&t… 
  7. I have a blog (efenz.wordpress.com). Knock off the groaning.
  8. I have never had a passport, though I am finding more and more reasons to get the heck out of the country.
  9. Once upon a time, I won a scholarship to college as a trumpet player. I was going to be a music teacher. Thought about it again later. And again, later… Then decided I don’t actually care that much about music. Hmmm.
  10. I collected baseball cards when I was a kid. I had about 3000 of them. I sold the whole box for $50 cash to a guy who is now probably sipping fruity drinks on an island somewhere. He was going to be a music teacher too. 
  11. I had a Detroit Tigers batting helmet that I wore to school every day in 7th grade. I also had only one pair of jeans that I also wore every day. Did I mention that I didn’t have many friends then?
  12. I have lived in MI, NY, NH, VT, ME, and FL. So far, I like Montana best. Haven’t lived there yet, but I think I would like it. 
  13. My favorite movie is “A River Runs Through It”. Makes me think of my dad.
  14. I grew up on a farm. I have yet to find anything that smells as bad as a pig sty.
  15. I have never had any art instruction but make some of my living as an artist. Sorry, real artists. (fennermurals.com)
  16. I didn’t realize I was a girl until I was 11. THAT was a bad day… 
  17. For $30,000 I learned to design a website from scratch. For $49.95 I can buy one on the Internet like everybody else. 
  18. Dogs aren’t kids, but I’d still choose dogs first.
  19. I am a published author: “A Cup of Comfort for Military Families” contains a story about my dad. 
  20. I almost joined the Army. I was going to be in the band. Never mind.
  21. I have frequently wanted to be a minister over the years but can’t seem to finish my Bachelors Degree. I have about 150 college credits but they don’t go together to make a degree. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to do soul saving in my next life. I’m too busy with my own this time around.
  22. My brothers and sisters have provided me with many nieces and nephews. They are way cool kids (most are actually not kids anymore). I look forward to knowing them all as adults.
  23. I don’t wear sunscreen very often here in FL. This is my way of giving you all permission to say “I told you so….” someday.
  24. I like to golf. I also like to poke hot needles in my eyes. I get the same feeling from both sometimes. 
  25. I am relieved to have reached the end of the list but disturbed at how hard it was to think of anything interesting about myself. Perhaps it is time to become more fascinating. I’m young, I’ve only been to a cardiologist once… No time like the present!

My list of 25 is not the best I had to offer, and sadly, neither is it the worst. It is simply an accounting of the innocuous parts of my life, slightly humiliating but not downright shaming. Those things I keep in another set of books that the authorities can’t get their hands on. That’s the one I’ll show at the Pearly Gates and hope that it simply serves as proof of my intent to do better. I like to think that God rewards the effort, even if it doesn’t produce the desired results.

When my time comes, I’m sure there will be quite a line of us waiting there with red cheeks, our hands jammed into the pockets of our pants that are covered with stickers from the forest, staring at our feet as we kick at the ground, furtively looking around to see if anyone actually took the road best traveled.

I’ll bet there won’t be anyone in that line… (*blows a razzberry at those goody-two-shoes*)

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  1. February 3, 2009 at 3:02 am

    I believe that if we have time to think about life at our dying moment, we will regret what we didn’t do and not what we did. I can’t think of anything I’d do differently or not do, because the road I travelled led me where I am today, and I’m pretty happy there. I hope you are, too.

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