Home > Life, You've GOT to be kidding! > Hate Crime for Suckers

Hate Crime for Suckers

kidding1Help needed in solving a hate crime!

Yesterday as we were walking in an unfinished neighborhood, we came across a horrific scene.img_0129

Body parts were scattered. Pieces were smashed in the road, their different colors intermingled. 

Someone’s hatred for these individuals was so extreme and so heinous that the victims were at first unrecognizable. 

As we investigated further, we found the mangled bodies tethered to a road sign by their lifelines. Their exhausted beater bars were strewn carelessly and their attachment hoses lay crumpled on the embankment and among the anthills next to the sidewalk.

The two massacred vacuum cleaners were tied to a sign by their power cords like hands straining to pull free from cuffs. They had stretched their life lines as far as possible, but in the end, they couldn’t escape. Their plastic pieces littered the middle of the dead end road.

img_0126In a scene that even Michael Vick couldn’t have concocted, it appeared that the two cleaning devices had been forced to fight each other to the death and apparently neither was willing to give up easily. Surely, it was nothing that Mr. Hoover nor Mr. Kirby would have seen as a fitting end to their progeny.

At times like this we must ask ourselves:

Where is our humanity?

How do we explain or excuse such senseless destruction of something so vital to our dust-free existence? Have we forgotten our history and how recently we lived in homes with dirt floors? 

It is the responsibility of those of us who still have memories of such times to educate our youth about the importance of respect for all appliances, no matter how trivial we think them to be.

Or in the vernacular of the likely perpetrators of this crime:

No matter how much you think something sucks, someday you might be lost without it.

  1. February 25, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    Maybe it was a murder/suicide pact after repeated bullying. Years of being told, “you suck” brought their down their self-esteem to the point where they could go on no longer.

  2. February 25, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    I’ll bet you’re right!

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